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Strength Through Education
Important Terminology
Act Government - act.gov.au
Types of domestic and family violence
Coercive control or controlling behaviour
Coercive control is when a person hurts, scares or isolates another person to control them. This is domestic abuse and it can cause serious harm, even if there is no physical violence.
Physical violence
Physical violence usually involves harm to the body, or the threat of harm.
Sexual violence
Sexual violence, also called ‘sexual assault’, includes anything sexual that happens without a person’s consent, and makes them feel scared or uncomfortable.
Image-based abuse
Image-based abuse is when someone shares or threatens to share photos or videos of a person without their consent. It is part of sexual violence and coercive control.
Images are typically shared in text messages, on social media or on the internet. Image-based abuse is sometimes called 'revenge porn'.
Emotional or psychological abuse
Emotional or psychological abuse is when someone says or does things to make a person feel bad about themselves, undermines their self-esteem or makes them feel scared or powerless.
It can be used to prevent people from seeking help and support.
Verbal abuse
Verbal abuse is when a person says things, privately or publicly, to shame or humiliate someone, or to make them feel scared or unsafe. This includes what they say and how they say it.
Social abuse
Social abuse is when someone tries to control a person’s relationships or interferes with their social activities.
This includes relationships with friends, family, colleagues or community. It can also be about trying to undermine a person’s reputation.
Spiritual, religious or cultural abuse
Spiritual, religious or cultural abuse is used to control or intimidate someone. It is not limited to any one religion, or group of people. It can be about stopping someone from being involved in their beliefs and traditions. Or it can be about forcing someone to take part in beliefs and traditions they don’t agree with.
Elder abuse
Elder abuse is when someone tries to control or harm an older person. The abuser is usually someone the older person knows and trusts, such as a family member or carer.
Lateral violence
Some communities have a history of being treated cruelly and unfairly by individuals or groups in positions of power. This is called oppression, and it can go on for many years – even for generations. Lateral violence is also known as ‘horizontal violence’ or ‘intra-racial conflict’. It is a product of a mix of historical, cultural and social dynamics that results in a range of behaviours. It is not just an individual’s behaviour. It can involve a number of people working together to attack or undermine individuals, families or groups.
Legal abuse
Legal abuse is when someone uses the law or legal action to control someone or make them feel scared. It can be about blocking a person’s efforts to get legal support. It can also be about making threats and false claims.
Financial abuse
Financial abuse is when someone controls or misuses a person’s money.
Technology-facilitated abuse or tech abuse
Technology-facilitated abuse or ‘tech abuse’ is when someone uses technology to control, frighten or humiliate a person.
It can include abusive online communication. It can also include using technology to stalk someone and gather information about them. It is sometimes called ‘technology-facilitated abuse’
Stalking and harassment
Within domestic and family violence, stalking and harassment are behaviours that involve intense and unwanted monitoring of a person’s movements. It can occur during a relationship, or after separation.
Reproductive abuse
Reproductive abuse is when a person is stopped from making decisions about their own reproductive system. This can include decisions about pregnancy, birth, your menstrual cycle, and sexual pleasure. Reproductive abuse can happen in intimate relationships. It can also come from a carer, family member, friend or guardian.
Stonewalling -
Stonewalling shows up as behaviors like giving one or two word responses, staying silent, avoiding eye contact, displaying negative body language, or refusing to respond at all. People sometimes do this as a defense mechanism to avoid discomfort or confrontation, often connected to anxiety or past trauma. While it may start as a way to cope with conflict, it creates emotional distance and breaks down communication in relationships. Over time it can damage trust and intimacy, and when it is used intentionally to control or manipulate someone it can be considered a form of emotional abuse. Addressing stonewalling early, creating a safer space for communication, and sometimes seeking couples therapy or practicing self soothing strategies can help repair communication and reduce conflict.
Trauma Bond -
A trauma bond is a strong emotional attachment that forms between a person and someone who abuses or mistreats them. It helps explain why people sometimes stay in or return to harmful relationships even when they recognize the damage being done. Trauma bonds can occur in many types of relationships, including romantic partnerships, families, friendships, or even workplaces. Unlike healthy relationships built on trust and respect, trauma bonds develop through cycles of affection and abuse. The abuser may alternate between kindness and cruelty, creating confusion and emotional dependency. This pattern, known as intermittent reinforcement, keeps the victim hoping the loving behavior will return. Over time, the person may begin to rationalize the abuse because they also experience moments of care or apology. Abusers may also manipulate, isolate, or threaten the victim, which lowers self esteem and increases dependence. As the cycle continues, the victim can lose a sense of identity and feel psychologically addicted to the relationship. Breaking a trauma bond often requires recognizing the pattern, rebuilding support systems, and creating distance from the abusive person while working to rebuild self worth.
Gaslight -
Gaslighting is a form of manipulation that often happens subtly rather than through obvious conflict. It occurs when someone repeatedly contradicts or dismisses your experiences, making you question your own memory, feelings, or perception. For example, you might remember being treated dismissively, but the other person insists you were just being too sensitive. Over time, these contradictions can cause you to doubt your own understanding of events. Gaslighting can happen in many settings, including romantic relationships, families, workplaces, and even medical environments. Common tactics include denying things that were clearly said, minimizing your emotional reactions, or claiming that others agree with them instead of you. Some people rewrite past events to make themselves seem reasonable while portraying you as irrational. In workplaces or digital spaces, gaslighting can also involve denying instructions, deleting messages, or changing details to make you appear mistaken. This manipulation works because people naturally want to trust those close to them and feel believed. Recognizing the pattern is important because once you identify gaslighting, you can begin to rebuild trust in your own perception and protect yourself from further manipulation.